Andrew Schwartzmeyer

This I definitely suffer from.

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dearlybeloveddeathbat:

….every night, no joke

(via noonelikessupermananymore)

A.S.B.: Who doesn't like a blonde joke?

afternoonsnoozebutton:

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The…